This is specifically for my r_scribbles as promised, but anyone still out there (I haven't updated in 17,000 years again, but it's not my fault, it's Virgin Media's...mostly). If you love comedy, if you love clever, geeky, random comedy then download this because it be GENIUS. Total genius.

I shall just say it's comedian Will Smith (not that one) doing the Tao of Bergerac on Radio 4, and relating his very Spaced meets Adrian Mole like semi-autobiographical life through the eyes of his obsessive love of the Jersey detective. Once you hear the Bergerac theme tune played on that little mystical flute thing, you'll be gone. I have it on my iPod and it's not often I can say this, but I laugh so much it hurts my tummy tumtum.

I should really do the Tao of Press Gang but I don't think I could beat this.

I love you, Jim

It's two weeks until I move to the fair town of Colchester. I am actually sincerely freaking out about this whole thing now. The Uni are mucking me around on parking permits (how hard is it to give me one, definitive answer?!), I will not be living on the bread line because I won't be able to afford bread and I have to write essay's again and actually be in charge of people's health and wellbeing. Crap on a stick.

I've driven an 8ft van down to Winchester, had the day from *hell* this involved, in no particular order; sleeping in my clothes, trying to get my 3 seater sofa through a window for over an hour, wearing a sheet as a toga because I had to wash my jeans with hand soap, not having my medication with me and feeling shite, losing £100, hitting a motorbike at South Mimm's Service Station BP garage forecourt (and all but one pump was out of diesel hence the moving about), phone battery dying, eating bread and cheese *without* any butter, sitting in a van for 8 hours with nothing to do, being so cold I ached, crying.

Got to do it all again in two weeks, although hopefully without the disasters this time.

It's not all bad though, for lo!

* r_scribbles and I spent last night spamming our mutual followers with #pressgang live episode twit-er-thon commentary. It was really joyus ("EMMA FORBES! simultaneous tweets). Should any PG-er out there want to read it, you can find the feed here.

* There's a series called 'Land Girls' on at the utterly mystifying time of 5pm weekdays on BBC1. Very pretty clothes, worn with wellies (as all pretty clothes should be) and lots of hardy spirit. It's a real gem and I'm loving it.

* It's a whole month of David Duchovny themed appearances and interviews, and I have faith he will not talk about his son's penis. I HAVE FAITH!

* I am thinking of going to the recording of the BBC Huw Weldon lecture in Cambridge given by Phil Redmond on the future of children's broadcasting because a.) it's free and b.) it's a topic I actually care quite a bit about. It's sort of short notice and I've only just seen it but if anyone fancies a day trip to Cambridge for it, give me a shout!

* In my last splurge before all splurging must end, I've ordered this book I saw in Waitrose today:


The title alone had me. And it's brilliant because it's all the joy of cakes but healthy! Chocolate (butternut squash) cake!

* dclore might be giving me a free tellybox! I was facing the prospect of my little portable, so fingers crossed.


PS. Happy Birthday donnak ! Hope you're having a lovely day. x

Thank you for your birthday wishes lovely people!

Alas, I am dying of death and have been since last Saturday and the peak was on my birthday so I didn't end up doing anything. It's now developed into a chest infection from hell. Nice. I'd had a mad weekend where I didn't get much sleep, then I developed a stinking cold and sore throat and drove back from Winchester at 5am (and was making fantastic time with no traffic on the roads until they closed the M11 and took me on a 1 hour detour around Cambridgeshire...I was somewhat irrate) so I just sort of lolled about and caught up with onliney stuff, got beaten into third place at Boggle and had cake. It was nice, but I would like a refund on the birthday though please universe.

I had the annual Weekend of Madness with my two chum's dans la Winchester - curry, bad horror flicks (Vacancy-The Prequel !?!) , Maison Blanc for coffee, 50's style Diner for cherry cokes and burgers in a red leather booth, 20 All Time Junior Hits on the iPod, West Quay Southampton spending too much money, Bigsy playing his latest creations on the piano and sitting in Sainsbury's car park chatting and being silly for no good reason. We've been doing this for at least 8 years now, and it never gets old. I bought some nice things and was given some nice things.

I came back to find David Duchovny had probably not started twittering (curses) but the jury is maybe still out, but that Peter Duncan (!), Louis Theroux, Edgar Wright and friggin Giles Coren have! Twitter is the new black.

For schiaparelli - MARMITE WHIRLS, BABY! Here's the recipe for you, and let me tell you, they are one of the world's great success stories. Yay for British snacks made out of condensed yeast extract!

PS. Watch Channel 4 at 9pm on Thursdays if you can, they're doing a whole sort of expose documentary on A4e the company I've just left called 'Benefit Busters'. It's...interesting.

Oh...my God. I am being stalked by bats. I mean literally, *literally* stalked by bats.

Parents are away, and whilst I'm a brave solider in the house on my own normally (and let me add it's not the being alone thing, I am a bona fide adult and have lived lone for 10 years previously, it's just our house is a bit secluded), last night was pretty horrible what with security lights coming on, Prudence barking at 'something' outside and then to top it all off, there's a fecking bat flying about on the landing! I was marooned in my room, desperate for the loo and forced to watch night time TV all night to take my mind off possible horrors. It's a sad indictment of ITV that I was engrossed for a good few hours in their programming and it was far superior to anything on during daylight hours (Kojak! Country File in the Lake District!). But anyway, so yes, the bat. By morning it had appeared to vanish and as all the doors were shut and there was no sign of it I assumed I'd had a stress induced bat themed hallucination. Feel free to hum the Batman theme tune to yourself.

Oh no, no no...it was just waiting and had lulled me into a false sense of security.

So there I was, watching some X Files Series 1 and oooohing over prettyMulder! and fuglyScullyclothes and this winged creature swoops at me. I screamed. Like a girl. Dashed out and rang Parents in a 'Help! I am being stalked by bats!' type panic and hoped the evil thing would follow me outside and flap away. I could have sworn after about five minutes it did, as I caught something with the corner of my eye come out of the door and it appeared to have gone when I worked up the courage to go back inside. That was 2 1/2 hours ago, and I am back with Agents Mulder and Sculy and it does it AGAIN! I flailed and Prudy then came dashing in to see why, saw the bat, did a little bit of wee on the floor and now we are both hiding away in the dining room. Urgh, I can hear the wings flapping outside the door as it circles!

It's hard to describe just how freaked the hell out I am. It's bloody massive and has fangs and FUR and :shudder:........

I have nothing to do until Parents get back in about two hours now but luckily the laptop was within reach so in order to while away the time I am formulating a list of Things From Yore I Miss:

1.) Mint Feasts - mint is good, feasts are good...why stop?
2.) Aqualibra - anyone else remember this melon flavoured drink? Like Ame I suppose, and was yum.
3.) Toffo's - flip18 twittered about Totty Frotty's today which I thought were long dead, and it brought to mind Toffo's. My Mum's favourite.
Did Werther's Granddads' kill them dead?
4.) Orange and Carob Crunchy Bars - Probably just me this one, then....
5.) TAB - I *liked* TAB! It was clear Coke, why oh why fickle GBP did you not take this to your heart?

Does anyone have anything they'd love to see back?

* I think I've found a flat! A jolly splendid flat too - an almost too good to be true, flat. It's pretty perfect in that it's *big*, will allow a Prudence to come and visit, is set in 4 acres of parkland of an old Manor with benches and shady glens, it's in a quiet location and best of all, it's cheaper than a lot of the vile new build flats that you couldn't swing a ferret in. Hurrah! Fingers crossed it doesn't fall through.

* I am beginning to think that the more 'open' we become online and the more accessible, the worse it becomes. Facebook and I feel out of love a long time ago, and I'm now convinced it's a tool for evil (yes, please, let's pretend you didn't bully me at school and then 3 months later you can unfriend me for no valid reason and make me feel the same way again) and now Twitter is giving me the same vibe. Is it a good idea for 'celebrities' to become so accessible? Wasn't it better when we didn't know what they have for breakfast every morning? Seriously? So far since I've been on Twitter there's been JamieOliverGate (that made the national papers) and in the last few days, a comedian I'm following (let's call him Derek so this doesn't appear in his googlefeed *g*) has made himself look somewhat like a giant COCK with his passive aggressive replies and DRAMAZ! inducing grumpiness, and then a journo who I thought was quite fun told anyone who replied to her tweet to GROW UP (IN CAPS LOCK RAGE!!). I think it's all getting a bit much, a bit too full on. I can see why it's a great PR tool and all that jazz, but at the same time, it's like giving that monkey a revolver.

* I've tried to sell a few odds and sods on eBay again after a break of a few years and the place is dead. You can't leave negative feedback for buyers now? Huh? Yes, splendid idea. I don't understand, eBay used to be a dead cert even for a manky old top you thought you'd list for a laugh, now I can't even shift brand new tagged Monsoon clothes. What happened?!

* It's hot. It's very, very hot. It is melting kind of hot. I complained vociferously a few days ago about the crap weather and this is what happens. I'm sorry, I won't do it again.

* I am really in love with this at the moment. Harry Patch, the last surviving WWI solider died last week, and in honour of him (and how cool is this) Radiohead have written a quite hauntingly beautiful piece entitled 'Harry Patch (In Memory)'. It was played for the first time on Radio 4's Today programme a few days ago, and it's available to download for their website here with all money going to the Royal British Legion. Go on, go and download it.

* I've just ordered Torchwood : Children of Earth. Oh, I shouldn't be spending money but it had to be done. I never thought I would ever buy anything Torchwood but Rusty, you've hooked me kid.

It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that the month of July in the year 2009 has been my annus horribilis. A pile of albatross' poo. With very few exceptions, it's sucked from beginning to end and all my plans to 'get stuff done' for September, have a few adventures and be really happy I'm not at work have become lost in a sea of oddness, weirdness and crap.

Never more so than my missing A Doll's House on Saturday, missing meeting up with donnak and missing getting my violet jam. I was so looking forward to it, and I woke up at 3am on the Saturday morning with The Sickness and have only just now managed to bare being vertical enough to get on the interwebs. I am sat in bed with a hot water and lemon and a view of the grey, grey sky. Boo.

Up yours July 2009.

Positive things, in no particular order:

1.) I am looking for positive things.
2.) I have ordered Human Remains for the barginus price of £4.98 so I no longer have to rely on my crappy DVD rip.
3.) Love the new Doctor's outfit (despite worries it's a bit costumey) and very, very excited for the new series.
4.) Happy Birthday to my lovely flip18 - hope you had a smashing day my dear.
5.) I've found the Spooks soundtrack on LJ. I've been looking for it for years.
6.) I've bought a Spike ("I need a new Spike!") - it's a spoon, a fork and a knife all in one small, handy piece of plastic. It shall go into my Girl Guide like Mary Poppins bag for unexpected picnics and eating opportunities that require the use of an eating instrument when none is immediately present.
7.) The Supersizers Eat...The 1950's tonight. Mmmmm, brylcreemed Giles.


Hope everyone out there is in fine fettle and not having a crap filled month.

1. I am currently stuck in BUREAUCRACY DOOOOOOM! In order to claim minuscule NHS Bursary to keep me in Softmints for the next two years I have to fill in 40 pages of form detailing everything from my resting heart rate to how much interest every one of my bank accounts earns a year. I also need a form of photo ID which can either be a.) passport (this ran out in 2005 but is still proof of my being me yet ergo not acceptable) b.) National Identity Card (er...thought they weren't in existence yet?) or c.) Photo Driving License (I have the paper version which does very well thank you). Am opting for new passport as that is the only thing of any use to me but it costs a lot of money and I have to have biometrically acceptable photos and dear Lord why is everything so fecking complicated! I long for simplicity.

2.) I am quite getting into this random journalling again.

3.) Am super excited because I am off to see Miss Gillian Anderson in 'A Doll's House' on Saturday at the Donmar. Of all the people I'd wanted to see perform live in my lifetime, she was at the top and I never thought I'd be able to get a ticket! I shall hopefully see you there donnak ? Shall squeeze in time for a little violet jam buying at Fortnum & Mason and attempt #5 at finding a Cath Kidston.

4.) Torchwood blew.me.away. I mean absolutely flawed me. It makes me want to go back in time to that horrendous first episode and shake them and say 'Look, this is what it should be! This is what you can do!'. I shall be buying the DVD as I think it will go down as a classic in years to come. I love being surprised by something.

5.) Well done r_scribbles ! Yay! I am so happy for you, and relieved too!

6.) It's Giles 'I love the way you eat like a caveman' Coren and Sue 'funniest woman ever to walk the earth?' Perkins tonight on the Supersizers Eat...The 20's. My favourite era! I laughed so hard at the French Revolution episode last week I've had a stitch in the bottom left hand corner of my rib ever since. The sight of Marie Antoinette a la Perkins being electrocuted by King Louis' a la Coren's farts was sublime. Total and utter GENIUS!

7.) As a leaving gift, one of my counterparts in our London admin office to whom I had the most dealings with sent me a massive box of Ferrero Roche (...why Monsieur) in the DHL and my friend Jo gave them to me yesterday. I am currently munching on them thinking what a lovely gesture it was, but also why chocolate with asphyxiating nuts (and it's the double whammy of the surprise inside nugget and a million tiny buggers on the outside) was ever considered a snappy idea.

There is no other point to this random update then to highlight if highlighting be needed how awesome r_scribbles is, and how much she makes me laugh. On the Michael Jackson memorial via twitter:


Scriblit: Just for the record, at my tribute I want the cast of Press Gang to sing The Sun Has Got His Hat On. Officially Sponsored by Pataks Curries.
9 minutes ago from web

violetcreme: @Scriblit ROFLMAO! Them, and David Schneider surely?!
7 minutes ago from TwitterFox in reply to Scriblit

Scriblit@violetcreme: Dave's going to walk in front of my coffin, scattering confetti made from the debris found at the bottom of my handbag.
3 minutes ago from web in reply to violetcreme


Heheheheheh.

I am now pondering my own memorial service. I like the idea of the Press Gang cast singing, but what if she dies before me? I don't want to be pase!

PS. Torchwood is bloody fab! What happened to it? it's no longer Hollyoaks Does Aliens, it's all serious and dramatic and....good!

Happy Birthday to my french bound speak_me_fair . Hope you're having a smashing day!

So, I've left work and am now footloose and fancy free until September - lots to do, in fact so much to do I have no idea how it's all going to fit in and work (one property to sell, need to arrange one to rent, injections galore that have to be done in random places that offer them, moving of furniture from one end of the country to another etc. etc. ARGH!) but will squeeze in time for a few adventures no doubt. I'm sat here browsing property, downloading music and eating softmints and feeling very odd that I'm not at work worrying about 'new starts' and 'ref2's' and other such exciting things. I've found time to post on LJ, look? see? Ha!

Amidst my browsing today, Mr James Henry (he of Green Wing writing genius) put in a link to Hulu.com which seems rather fantastic - TV and movies from both sides of the pond to watch in HD in an iplayer-ish fashion.  I think it might be time for me to start watching the US The Office as it seems to have settled down into something unique in and of itself, and something I might quite like.

Torchwood tonight, and I'm going to give this new serial version a go! I think originally I remember likening it to John Major bum sex, which was valid at the time, but it seems Uncle Rusty has made some changes.  We shall see. :strokes chin:

I've not posted here for almost two years now (!) but this afternoon had a random urge to just...post something. So, I have.

The End.